The Ache We Try to Decorate at Christmas

God didn’t arrive with force or spectacle. He didn’t come wrapped in authority or positioned at the center of influence. There was no demand for allegiance, no display of dominance meant to silence opposition.

Human history isn’t the story of people who didn’t try hard enough. It’s the story of people who tried nearly everything they could think of and still came up short. Over and over again.

What Exodus 5 Taught Me About Calling, Discernment, and Leadership

Leadership Lessons From Acts 17: Why Great Leaders Start Where People Actually Are

I’ve drifted in almost every area of life at some point. Ministry, marriage, parenting, leadership, spiritual health, mental focus. You name it. None of the drift happened overnight. It never started with rebellion. It wasn’t because I didn’t care. It wasn’t even because I was running from God.

This week at Fauquier High School,

It’s been more than twenty years, but I still remember it vividly.

When most people hear the word “leadership,” they picture someone standing at the front of the room, giving orders, or holding the spotlight. But here’s the truth: leadership is not about you. It’s not about the position, the title, or the perks. Leadership is selflessness. Why this is hard Everything around us says the opposite. The world teaches us to climb the ladder, build our brand, make it all about “me.” We scroll social media and it screams louder: “Promote yourself. Get noticed. Show off your wins.” And yet - look around. People are hungry for leaders who actually care. Not leaders who want something from them, but leaders who want something for them. Selfless leadership looks like this: Giving up your seat so someone else can sit. Listening when you’d rather talk. Putting your people in the spotlight instead of grabbing it for yourself. It’s not glamorous. Sometimes it’s even painful. But it’s real. The leaders who stick with us Think back on the leaders who changed you. Maybe it was a coach, a teacher, a boss, a parent. The ones who left a mark weren’t the ones shouting or demanding recognition. They were the ones who made you feel like you mattered. I’ve had leaders in my life who picked me up when I didn’t believe in myself. And I’ve also had leaders who made everything about them. Guess which ones I still want to follow? Exactly. Selflessness in action Selfless leadership means three things to me: Selflessness means sacrifice.John Maxwell says, “A leader must give up to go up.” That’s true. The higher you go in leadership, the less it’s about you. You give up your comfort, your time, sometimes even your recognition. You may never get the credit, but you’re okay with that because your people win. Selflessness means serving. People are not here to make your dream happen. You’re here to help them become who they’re meant to be. The best leaders I know are servants. They don’t see people as tools for success — they see people as the success. Selflessness means seeing beyond yourself. Leaders who only think about their own image might win for a moment, but they don’t last. Legacy belongs to those who invest in others. The tension we all feel Now, let me be real: this is hard. Everything in me wants to look out for myself first. I fail at this plenty. I can drift into self-protection, self-promotion, self-preservation. But when I’m at my best, I’m looking outward. Because leadership is not about getting ahead. It’s about bringing others with you. A biblical picture Philippians 2:3-4 says it clearly: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” That’s leadership. Jesus Himself modeled it. The Son of God washed the feet of His disciples. He gave His life for others. That’s the ultimate picture of leadership — selfless sacrifice. The challenge for us So here’s the question: who are you lifting up today? It’s not about you. It’s about the people you influence. It’s about the teammate who needs encouragement, the employee who needs a chance, the kid who needs someone to believe in them. The world has enough bosses. What it needs are leaders who walk into every room not asking “What can I get?” but “What can I give?” That’s when people follow. That’s when trust is built. That’s when lives change. Because leadership — real leadership — is selflessness.

Yesterday, I had the opportunity to spend time with the Fauquier High School football team, talking about one of the most important qualities for both athletes and men: having a strong moral foundation. It’s easy to think about football in terms of strength, speed, and skill. But when life gets tough, it’s not talent that keeps you standing — it’s the foundation you’ve built. Without it, storms will knock you off balance. With it, you stay grounded no matter what comes. We talked about three key traits that make up a strong foundation: Integrity, Courage, and Faithfulness. Integrity is about standing firm, not bending when it’s easier to cut corners. Courage is choosing to do what’s right even when it costs you. Faithfulness is showing up, keeping your word, and staying the course. To bring this lesson to life, we ran a challenge on the field. Players formed tight huddles around a football, shoulder-to-shoulder, protecting what was inside. Team captains tried to break through and get the ball. What happened next was powerful. One group lost the football quickly, but instead of quitting, they asked to try again. They huddled up, talked about what went wrong, and came back stronger. Another group held firm and didn’t let the captains break through at all. Both groups showed growth. After the drill, I handed it to the leadership team. Captains pulled aside 3–4 players each and led a debrief with three questions: What made us strong? What broke us down? What did we learn? When they came back together and shared, the theme was clear: how they communicated in the storm determined the strength of their foundation. That insight didn’t come from me — it came from the players themselves. And that’s the kind of ownership you want to see in a team. They held their integrity, displayed courage against bigger, faster opponents, and stayed faithful to protecting what mattered most. That’s what it means to hold the line. That’s the kind of foundation every athlete, and every man, needs: integrity that doesn’t bend, courage that doesn’t back down, and faithfulness that doesn’t quit. Bonus Section for Believers: The True Foundation What we practiced yesterday with integrity, courage, and faithfulness points to something even greater. In life, we can try to build strong character, but if our ultimate foundation is shaky, we’ll still collapse when the storms of life hit. Jesus said in Matthew 7:24–25 that the wise man builds his house on the rock. The storms beat against it, but it stands firm because of its foundation. In the same way, 1 Corinthians 3:11 tells us that no foundation can be laid other than Jesus Christ. He is the cornerstone (Ephesians 2:20–21), the solid rock who will not shift under pressure. Isaiah 28:16 promises that whoever trusts in Him will never be shaken. That means integrity, courage, and faithfulness are not just good traits — they are reflections of Jesus Himself. He is perfectly faithful, He never compromises, and He displayed ultimate courage when He went to the cross for us. When we root our lives in Him, storms will still come — but we won’t be swept away.