Perhaps the 3 most damaging words a boy hears, according to Coach Joe Ehrman, are “Be a man!” Usually this means don’t cry, don’t show emotion, act tough. So from the earliest age, a boy learns to deny his emotions. Masculinity becomes defined by the 4 B’s:
Ballfield – athletic achievement, strength, size, skill
Bedroom – sexual conquests of women
Bottle – drinking alcohol and using other drugs
Billfold – having lots of money and possessions
The signal sent and received to most boys is that being a man means to be good in sports, use women, drink alcohol, and have more money than you can spend. Who models this? Many professional athletes – who just happen to be the models that most young boys aspire to be like!
This definition is exactly what scripture warns us NOT to aspire to: Do not love this world nor the things it offers you, for when you love the world, you do not have the love of the Father in you. For the world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements and possessions. These are not from the Father, but are from this world. ~ 1 John 2:15-16
A much better definition of masculinity, according to Ehrmann, is “the capacity to love and be loved.” Let’s do battle with the worldly expectation of our boys and instill in them the right definition of manhood. 3Dimensional Coaching is helping coaches and athletes better define masculinity.
Watch Coach Ehrmann's Ted Talk "Be a Man" by clicking HERE
Posted on Thu, October 8, 2015
by Kerry O'Neill filed under